Thursday, August 6, 2015

Nyctophilia

What is sleep?

Sleep is but rest
A time to regenerate
To heal
To shrug off all the troubles
The hustle and bustle
That vex and worry in the day

What is sleep?
The surrender of the consciousness
The release of the iron bands 
That enslave the mind and heart
To duty
And honour
And love
And image

What if I told you that
sleep could be done without sleep
that
restoration was possible
without the shallow
superficial meaningless and vain
form of sleep that most
people succumb to

what if
the mind was truly the master
and the body the slave
and regeneration was all about the mind
not about the body

and if being awake at night was all the healing
that I need
then my healing would be in the form of
the embrace of darkness
free of all the problems that the day brings
and I can be free to agonise over things
that I cannot during the day
because I must look confident
and brave
and manly
and cool
and all the things that society and family and friends demand and expect of a typical someone my age
things that would make me fail all of the above requirements

what if I told you the night sets me free
to lose myself in my personal pursuits
to lose myself in my insignificance
to lose myself in my non-existence
the me that cannot exist in front of everyone else

what if darkness allowed me to wander my own paths
beyond boundaries no one has known
beyond horizons others have denied to me
to learn
to work
to mourn
to build
to be

what if the even's darkness was nothing more 
than a blotting paper
for my own darkness inside
darkness that grows within during the day when the windows 
of my soul are shut
and the curtains drawn
so no one can see inside

what if that was my rest
what if that was my healing
what if I love the darkness
what if I am night incarnate