Nyctophilia

What is sleep?

Sleep is but rest

A time to regenerate

To heal

To shrug off all the troubles

The hustle and bustle

That vex and worry in the day

What is sleep?

The surrender of the consciousness

The release of the iron bands 

That enslave the mind and heart

To duty

And honour

And love

And image

What if I told you that

sleep could be done without sleep

that

restoration was possible

without the shallow

superficial meaningless and vain

form of sleep that most

people succumb to

what if

the mind was truly the master

and the body the slave

and regeneration was all about the mind

not about the body

and if being awake at night was all the healing

that I need

then my healing would be in the form of

the embrace of darkness

free of all the problems that the day brings

and I can be free to agonise over things

that I cannot during the day

because I must look confident

and brave

and manly

and cool

and all the things that society and family and friends demand and expect of a typical someone my age

things that would make me fail all of the above requirements

what if I told you the night sets me free

to lose myself in my personal pursuits

to lose myself in my insignificance

to lose myself in my non-existence

the me that cannot exist in front of everyone else

what if darkness allowed me to wander my own paths

beyond boundaries no one has known

beyond horizons others have denied to me

to learn

to work
to mourn

to build

to be

what if the even's darkness was nothing more 

than a blotting paper

for my own darkness inside

darkness that grows within during the day when the windows 

of my soul are shut

and the curtains drawn

so no one can see inside

what if that was my rest

what if that was my healing

what if I love the darkness

what if I am night incarnate